Never is world domination so close as when playing a game of Risk.
(If anyone reading this ever gets closer to world domination, I’m not sure I want to know about it. That sort of power has gotten a pretty sinister reputation: think Hitler or Lex Luthor. In sheer numbers, I think Justin Bieber could be close, but teenage girls do not a world-conquering army make ... but I digress.)
Risk gives you a map of the world, filled with vaguely named territories: Alberta (the Canadian province) takes up the entire western half of the country, and the other half is divided between Ontario and Quebec. The United States fares even worse. We are divided solidly into Western United States and Eastern United States. (The tri-state area is somewhere east of the dividing line which looks like it might parallel the Mississippi River but doesn’t quite get there.)
Players begin with territories all over the board and must battle each other by rolling dice.
When against a much stronger player, alliances are a useful strategy. Playing with my brother and his friends always begins with an evil “Middle School Axis” and results in a heartbreaking defeat for me.
The photo above is from one of those games. I taught the boys everything they know, and they repaid me by attacking my borders relentlessly. Eventually I had nothing but Madagascar. I held out for my brother’s whole turn, withstanding brutal attacks from East Africa, and dwindling his forces down to one. But when his friend stockpiled troops in South Africa and rolled a six, I was done for.
When a player no longer has territory on the board, she is out of the game. Even though this happens to me more than I care to consider, Risk is one of my favorite board games.
As I roll my dice, I envision myself in the same league as Alexander the Great or Attila the Hun. Nations fall under my command. It’s a very heady feeling.
Let’s just hope no one ever asks Justin Bieber to play.
